Project Carter

Week 27- I have been remiss in posting about my pregnancy and all the feelings (and projects) that seem to come with it. Mostly because I have been so busy but also because I wasn’t sure what to write about. I’m afraid of becoming one of those people you see on Facebook who post every little thing they do or see or feel or eat.
Believe me, I feel like posting (or shouting from the roof top) every time I feel Carter move. But as he continues to get more active I would be posting every hour. Instead, I have opted to close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of this little person waking up or practicing his karate moves or keeping the beat to whatever song is going through his head. This week’s email from babycenter.com, says that his brain power is increasing and I find myself wondering what it exactly he’s thinking about. I mean is he pondering the meaning the life, having a quiet conversation with his maker, inventing an imaginary friend, or just thinking, “Warm, sleepy”? I’m convinced he’s going to come out knowing the finer details of public speaking and costume design, because that’s all he hears me talk about all day.
Being pregnant and teaching full-time has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. My high school play is coming up in two weeks and I find myself frustrated at the fact that I am not able to fully focus on it. Normally, the play would be all consuming of my time and energy and this year I just don’t have that to give. That’s not to say the show won’t be good or well done. The kids will be prepared and I know it will turn out perfectly, it always does. It’s just that
this year, I find myself able to let some things go. It’s okay if this costume doesn’t have the extra trim or details it would normally have—the kid has a costume, that’s what counts. For years my job, my students, my productions have been the major focus of my life.* Now, I feel that shifting. I still love my job, my students, my productions but that’s not my sole purpose any more. I’m
going to be somebody’s mom, Carter’s mom, and that job, which right now is taking care of myself so I can take of him, seems so much more important. Usually production time is stress time. I can’t get too stressed this year; it’s not good for me. So, I’m learning to let things go, to let good be good enough.
We’ve been busy getting Carter’s room ready for him. Shelby’s been working on sanding a dresser that belonged to my dad’s parents and refinishing it to match the crib. I took an encaustic painting workshop last weekend and made several pieces to put in Carter’s room.

A few weeks ago I stopped by Goodwill and found this hook that I thought might work for Carter's Baby Bjorn and anything else we might want to hang up. Originally it was a soccer ball with the name "Taylor" written on it with red paint. But I sanded it and repainted it and sealed it. It cost me $3. I really like how it turned out.

I also went to my first JBF (Just Between Friends) sale a few weeks ago. It’s a huge consignment sale where people bring their used baby stuff but a lot of it is new. I got Carter a stuffed Cookie Monster still in the box! I hope he likes it.
As a kid, I loved Cookie Monster. Actually I loved all the characters that lived on Sesame Street and the Muppets. As an adult, I often tell my students that my dream job (other than being on Broadway and teaching them, of course) would be to be a puppeteer on Sesame Street. I love everything about the world the Muppets have created and now further appreciate the fact that it will be children’s programming that won’t annoy me. My sister sent me a story today about a documentary about Kevin Clash, Elmo’s puppeteer, called Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey. I can’t wait to watch it! After watching the film’s trailer, I found another video on youtube that had me tearing up (granted that’s not too hard these days).

We took our maternity pictures yesterday and I can hardly stand the wait to see how they turned out. We took them in a theater built in the 1920’s so the architecture and design elements were
beautiful. I felt great and we did some pretty creative shots. I’ll be sure to post them when we get them!

*Of course my marriage is my main priority and that one that won't be shifting!

I Made This!

It's been long since an update. Things are still going great with Liz and Carter. Life has become hectic and shows no real signs of slowing down any time soon. There is so much to be done before Carter gets here, and it is getting done, just not as quickly as we want. We have registered for gifts (see the widget to the right), even though that was a little bit of an ordeal because Babies"R"Us lost our registry the first time we registered. I feel like now might be a good time to mention that we will be using reusable cloth diapers and are registered for them at Babies"R"Us. Granted, not the most fun gift to buy, but by far one that we will need. It is probably the most practical thing anyone can buy us. Just thought I would plug that particular item.

One of the things that I am most proud about is that I assembled Carter's crib. It is nice and solid. I couldn't help but think when I was done, "I made this." Since I am not so great at building things from scratch, I will have to take pride in the fact that I can follow directions and build a sturdy piece of furniture, as long as all the pieces are provided for me.

At night, I have been reading Charlotte's Web by E.B White to Carter, chapter at a time. It was one of my favorites as a kid. They say that he can hear quite well now. He seems to be most active at night, which might be because of the reading or it might just be that Carter is going to be a night owl just like us, which probably means that we are going have a very cranky house each morning.

Everything is continuing smoothly and normally. We have another doctor's appointment next week, so we will of course know more then.

Pictures for my sister

A few pictures for my sister who has limited access to Facebook...

The Carter bump at 20 weeks--Every day I wake up and wonder if I can get any more pregnant...apparently, I can!

Carter's first swimsuits--We couldn't resist Batman and Superman! He'll be able to wear Batman next summer and Superman the summer after that. I know it's a ways off but they were on clearance and just so cute!

We went shopping at a consignment store and got all these items for a $1.00 each! I know we'll inherit a lot of clothes from my sister-in-law but it sure was fun to pick a few things out for ourselves.

This is the fabric we're using for the bumper pads on Carter's crib. We found a great pattern online and my mom is helping make them.

The last few nights Carter has really been moving...a lot. He seems to think that from 10:30 to midnight is the best time to be active. I guess he really is my kid, a night owl. I can't complain. It just means he lets me sleep in. Maybe he'll keep that trend up once he's born!

Kick It Up

Lately, Liz has felt a lot more movement from Carter. For the past week or so, she has tried to let me feel on the outside, and each time, I thought I might feel something, but I was a little unsure. I thought I might be feeling Liz's heartbeat or something else instead. But last night it came-- obvious proof that Carter is alive and kicking (literally). He was going nuts last night, kicking at a rate and intensity that I could not confuse with Liz's heartbeat. It was incredible to say the least.

I am sure that some people might say that we have a little soccer player in there. I honestly kind of hope not though because well . . . soccer is boring. Now if Carter really wants to play soccer, I fully support that, and I will probably get very excited watching him play, but right now soccer is just watching a lot of running around with not a lot action or goal-scoring. What I am hoping that the hyperactive kicking means is that he might have incredible footwork as a tennis player or even amazing speed around the bases in baseball or around a track. Of course, if the kid is anything like me, he will be completely inept at sports, but his feet will be able to tap out a steady beat while he's playing music.

All that being said, it is amazing that I can feel my son in utero now, and that lets me know that he will be here soon. Regardless of physical prowess, I will love him, but it is wonderful to feel the kicking and know that he is healthy and active.

Personalize Your Baby

Much to Liz's chagrin, I have never been a big fan of shopping. I don't mind looking around online for hours on end, but I just can't stand being in a department store, or worse, a mall. Why walk around for hours on end when I can type a simple string of words into Google or Amazon and get what I want? Why doddle and look around when all I really need is a new pair of jeans? I just prefer to go, find the jeans, find what I think will fit, try them on, and leave. It should not take more than twenty minutes. At Christmas-time, my attitude is often very similar. Fighting through crowds of people to leave the store often empty-handed just seems to be a waste a time. Oh, what's that UPS man? You will bring what I am looking for to my house? Yes, please.

This past Friday my previous disposition to shopping seems to have been crushed. I actually enjoyed going out and hitting up several stores, not looking for myself or an impossible-to-find gift for someone else, but looking for clothes for Carter. We found a lot of great stuff at Once Upon a Child. I must say I am a fan of consignment. They were having a sale where a lot of items were a dollar. We got him some great onsies with guitars, peace signs, Dr. Seuss characters, spaceships, and more, and what's even better, we spent almost nothing. Anyone who knows me very well should know that I do not enjoy spending lots of money on clothes. I buy what is nice, but affordable. We then hit up a few more stores (Kohl's and Ross Dress for Less) and found some good items. The best finds of the night were at Old Navy. Since it is the end of summer, all their bathing suits were on sale. We found a Batman swim shirt and trunks for his first summer and a Superman swim shirt and trunks for his second summer. Sure, it's a little ways off, but even I couldn't resist. At the end of the night, I felt not exhausted and frustrated, but satisfied and content.

This brings me to my point of personalizing my baby. I love the fact that I get to decorate and accessorize my baby however I please. Seriously, Carter will be a reflection of Liz and I. Of course, I know that later in his life, he will develop his own tastes and preferences, and I want him to embrace those things that make him a unique person . . . but in the meantime, we get to dress our kid. And there is one thing I already know-- my kid is going to be a big nerd. After all, he will be a reflection of me, and I am a big nerd. Also, I will love my son no matter who he grows up to be, but why not give him a gentle nudge in the right direction? After all, it will be nice to have someone to watch sci-fi with the rest of my life.

This Boy

Well, I have no doubt that many of you have already read Liz's post, and if you haven't, you should. Needless to say, we are thrilled to finally know that we are having a baby boy. It looks like we will be buying lots of stuff with guitars on it. We are decorating the room in guitars, and I also plan on decorating the baby with many guitar clothes as well.

I am continuing to be amazed with the healthcare technology that we have in our modern world. Not only were we able to see that it was obviously a boy, we were able to see all four chambers of the heart as it beat. We were able to see the separate hemispheres of the brain. By far my favorite moment from Thursday was seeing the baby suck his thumb in utero. I honestly didn't know that they were able to do that at this stage. It was an event that made the fact that we will have a baby in about 5 months real to me.

I have noticed that, as nothing is physically happening to me, it is hard for my mind to understand that I am going to be a dad in a few short months. I kind of have to take certain events to make it more real, and this sonogram definitely did that for me. The baby really does look like a baby. We could see bones developing and the baby actually has a recognizable face, though right now, he kind of looks like Skeletor from He-Man, but evidently, that is normal at this point in time.

Liz pretty much talked about why we chose the name Carter, but it was very important to me that we did not choose a name that was at its peak in trendiness. I have only known a few other male Shelbys as I have grown up, and I suspect that Carter will know more people with his name, but at the same time, I didn't want my poor child to be one of three or four kids with the same name in his class. I can remember back to elementary school when the name Sara/Sarah was insanely popular. I believe in my first grade class, there were three girls with the name Sara/Sarah, and it got very confusing having to use last initials with each of them. Another important thing when picking a name was that the name had to sound serious, but have personality. Obviously, Liz and I think somewhat outside the box, so we wanted a name that we thought had personality, and "Carter" certainly fits the bill, but that the same time, it is a name and a spelling that one could take seriously. We had a friend tell us to put the words "Supreme Court Justice" in front of the name, and "Supreme Court Justice Carter Wilson" sounds like a name that could be taken seriously.

We are still searching for a middle name, but I would like it to be something that has meaning for Liz, including but not limited to family names. Obviously, since it is a boy, he will always have the last name Wilson, which is a part of my identity much more than Liz's. Anyway, we are still talking about it and will have that for you whenever it happens. (I am glad we have plenty of time.)

Needless to say, I am thrilled that I will have a son that I can teach to play music and that will be able to play music with me, if he so desires. It will also be nice to have a video game buddy, as Liz really doesn't like to play a lot of what I play. Sure, we have a ways to go before we can do all that, but I am excited that it is on the horizon, nonetheless. 

What's in a name?

At 11 weeks our doctor told us not to go paint the nursery cowboy blue, but his hunch was that we were having a boy. I thought there was no way, from that grainy picture, he could tell. But I got used to the idea that we might be having a boy, while still thinking it could be a girl. So on Thursday, when we went in for our ultrasound, I was prepared for anything. Well, our little BOY made his presence very clear. Our ultrasound technician kept commenting on how calm and chill the baby was and we’re definitely okay with the idea of a mellow, easy-going baby. It made her job pretty easy because he held still and let her take all the pictures she needed. We watched as the technician looked at the four chambers of the heart, while it was beating. She measured the femur and the brain. I was too fascinated by what I was seeing to get emotional. It made us laugh because we even got to witness the baby sucking his thumb. Words like perfect and normal were music to our ears, because everything (heartbeat, cerebellum, etc.) measured exactly as it should. We left the appointment feeling excited to know that the next part of this journey could begin. We can start to prepare the nursery and buy clothes. You know, the fun stuff!!

When we first found out we were going to have a baby, we went made a list of boy names and girl names. We had veto power over the other person’s list, eliminating any name on the list we couldn’t stand. So what we were left with were 4 fairly sizable lists with names we liked. Of course, we both had our favorites. But we decided not to discuss it in depth until we knew if we were having a boy or girl. We had a few passing conversations about the meaning of a couple of names but nothing serious. Amazingly, when we left the ultrasound appointment and turned to each other to talk about his name, we came up with the same name. CARTER. We knew his name was Carter. But when we made the lists, while Carter was on both of them, it certainly wasn’t either of our original favorite names. I feel pretty confident that given the circumstances it’s the right name.

Here’s the meaning behind Carter’s name for us:
During a rough patch in our marriage, a friend of mine gave me the first few seasons of ER on DVD. When I was in middle school, I had watched the show faithfully and had always liked it. I had crush on Noah Wyle and George Clooney. But when I went to college, I stopped watching. I was excited to pick it up again from the beginning and had planned to watch it at night after Shelby had fallen asleep. (When I was working on my Master’s, I only worked part time so my sleep schedule was very different than Shelby’s.) He informed me that was fine because he really had no interest in a medical drama. So I put in the two hour pilot episode and Shelby stayed up and watched the whole thing. I was never allowed to watch an episode without him after that. During a snow storm, we watched at least 12 episodes while snuggling on the couch and eating soup and cornbread. It’s a treasured memory and was a healing weekend for our relationship.
Our favorite character on the show is Dr. John Carter. Over the seasons, Carter had lots of different story lines but always maintained characteristics I admired- kindness, generosity, patience, and determination. Often in the middle or at the end of an episode, Shelby and I would look at each other and one of us utter, “Man, I love Carter”. Earlier in summer, we finished watching season 15 of ER so I suppose Carter was still fresh in both our minds. During one of our off hand conversations when we were talking about the meanings behind names, I mentioned Carter. I had said that the meaning behind it was kind of boring, a cart driver, but Shelby said he liked the meaning. He said something about carts being able to carry heavy loads. I liked the idea that no matter what life piled on a Carter might be able to carry it all. And being the Beatles’ fans we are we were reminded of the song Carry That Weight. The lyrics, while simple, always make me feel better when you listen to them in relation to the song that comes before it in the medley, Golden Slumbers. Here are the lyrics to those two songs…
Golden Slumbers
Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Carry That Weight
Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time
Boy, you're gonna carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time

Carter sits at number 54 on the list of popular baby names. Shelby informed me that this was low enough not to be too trendy. I was relieved. We still haven’t decided on a middle name. Of course, that one wouldn’t come as easily as the first name! But we figure we have plenty of time to choose one! As soon as we know it, we’ll share it!